Dems, Trans Rights, and Lessons from Little Sh*t

I had a stepfather for about a year, perhaps the worst year of my life. Little Shit, we will call my stepfather, because that is an apt description of his stature, his behavior, and a continuing dedication on my part to never letting go of a grudge. It’s part of my charm. Little Shit was a worthless human being and if you go down the list of abusive behaviors, he checked a fair number of them. One of the most amusing days of my life, years after he and my mom had divorced, was seeing the fear in his eyes when I was back for a visit, and he was trying to explain why he would be late with the alimony.

I wasn’t lying about holding a grudge.

Now, I am not a brave person. I avoid conflict when reasonable, and most of the fights I have been in have been started by the other person. But a year of Little Shit reinforced the notion that folding does not help. Every time I gave in to a demand, he had another, worse demand. Once I stopped giving in, he eventually left. Now, as amusing as it would be for me to claim that I am the cause of my mom’s second divorce … actually, I think I am going to make that claim. Because while the decision was hers, the effect Little Shit had on her children played a part. And by resisting, I highlighted the situation.

I am sure your hearts are all warmed by this amazingly banal story of family disfunction, but what has this to do with Democrats and trans rights? Okay, the metaphor is pretty obvious, but I needed a transition. Failed writer, remember?

This week, the Senate killed a bill that would have prevented trans women from playing any sports, even chess, and opened up any little girl to having her genitals inspected, probably by a pervert because who else would inspect little girls’ genitals before they played a sport? Not a single Democratic Senator voted for the bill, and thus it died a filibuster death. They stood up to the party of Little Shits.

I am not an especially avid ally of trans rights. I am so straight you could use me for a level, I never understood the appeal of Ru Paul, and I have some issues with some of the way certain issues are discussed. Replacing “woman” with “person” does really diminish the salience of women in those conversations, in my opinion, in an era where the backlash is resegregating America on race and gender lines. A person who has gone through a largely male puberty may not be a safe or fair participant in certain women’s sports. A trans woman with male presenting characteristics may cause fear and uncertainty in abuse shelters. But this bill, and the bills preventing gender affirming care and the executive orders banning trans people from the military, are not about those edge cases.

Those actions are an attempt to stuff back into the closest a group of people who are just trying to be, well, people. Worse, the bans on care mean that many trans people will not get the help they need, and many more will attempt or complete self-harm. They are a meanspirited attack on a tiny minority. And giving into them will not make their proponents stop. They will pocket letting strangers inspect children’s genitals as a win and move onto to their next attack. By giving in to them, all you prove is that you cannot be trusted to protect anyone. That you are a coward. The world has enough cowards in positions of power — I don’t see the need to vote for any more.

Fortunately, this lesson seems to have been learned, at least somewhat, by the Democratic party as a whole. It is important that we thank any dems who voted against this. We want to reward them for doing good. Because right now, their consultants are telling them to abandon people and when throwing trans kids overboard doesn’t work (as it did not in the Lanken Riley Act with respect to immigrants), those same consultants will tell the Democrats to abandon whatever group the GOP targets next, on and on until only the Democratic consulting class is left.

Because we have an entire Administration of Little Shits. Bad people who lash out in childish ways and demand more and more every time they are given anything. You don’t stop those people by keeping your head down and giving them some of what they want. Bullies always want everything. And they are only stopped when you stand up to them, as hard as that may be.

But I promise you, as difficult as it is, standing up to the Little Shits is the only way to get them to leave. But leave they do. It may take longer than it should, and more effort and courage than you think you have, but they do leave.